Amy Crackhouse only gets coverage on this site cause she’s black by association - she sings like a black girl (Lauryn Hill) and obviously has a black goddaughter. I’m going to ignore the obvious question (who the hell would name her godmother and leave her alone with their child???) and focus on the fashion, which is what we do here on CelebUgly. Oh my. Amy’s channeling her inner Jamaican and is wearing out what should never be worn, except maybe on a beach in Jamaica; a mesh, fishnet shirt and pirate-style denim capris. Those ballet slippers certainly have seen better days (then again, maybe not). And her weave is starting to dread up. I didn’t even know Yaki could do that! She must have bought the cheap stuff. Oh Amy. It’s bad enough you’re into sporting crackhead couture, don’t drag someone else’s kid down with you.

Check out more cracked out Amy Winehouse here.

My gaydar must be in need of a tune-up cause I never suspected any tang tendencies from Benny Medina. But if the Simon Cowell muscle shirt (unbuttoned to reveal that peasy curly chest hair) and polka-dot necktie aren’t a complete giveaway, I don’t know what is. The man who managed so many celebrity careers and garnered so much respect just lost it all with this get up. The shirt and scarf are just so suspect. I’m sure the dress code called for more than jeans and sneakers but Benny, a suit would have sufficed. And posing next to Gayle King doesn’t add any more points to your masculinity index either.

Why is it that all the Top Model winners either fade into obscurity (except for Eva Pigford) or suddenly lose the style tips that TyTy gave them on the show? I specifically remember Tyra telling Jaslene to tone it down, lest she look too tranny and sure enough, she looks tranny. I hope she didn’t show up on the Fashionista Show trying to give advice on how to bring out your inner drag queen. Nevermind this dress is hurting my eyes with the checkerboard pattern and what’s with the fiesta ribbons on each shoulder? Is this what you buy with $100 grand?

For someone named Golden, she sure doesn’t look it. I would say more of an ashy white. I know Girlfriends went off the air but it’s still in reruns on BET so those residual checks should be in the mail. So why, Golden, do you always dress as if you’re one paycheck away from losing your house so you can only shop at Forever 21 and Bebe? These plain jane dresses are cool when you’re an aspiring actress but once you’ve been on a hit show, it’s time to step up your fashion game girl.

I guess a Top Model reject’s gotta do whatever it takes to stand out. I appreciate the fact that Keenyah took the judges advice and lost that spare tire she was getting on the show, and her weave is on point too. (Another tip from Tyra I see). But matching fake contact lenses with your shoes is a no-no. Why are black woman still wearing blue contacts in 2008? Matching them with your shoes is beyond wrong. The dress is nice but I’m sorry, I just can’t get past the haunting stare of her eyes…I think I’m getting hypnotized by the ugly.

I still don’t know who gave this chick the stage name Princess. I think ‘Round the Way Girl’ would have been more fitting. I mean how many princesses do you see with Kool-aid red dyed hair? But Princess has come a long way, I must admit. I think this outfit represents the ghetto high class - sort of a business suit for industry chicks. The mini vest and matching skirt ($16.99 at Joyce Leslie) is a good start Princess, but a shirt would have been nice. But then you couldn’t show off your new Victoria’s secret bra and toned tummy, right? I feel you girl. Can’t leave it all to the imagination…

Sigh. My people. Did we learn nothing from I’m Gonna Git You Sucka? ‘Overgold’ is a bad thing. And Lil Boosie, you know you can’t afford all those chains, let alone walk straight carrying all that crap around your neck and wrists. There’s nothing worse than a poser, except a fakin’ poser. The fact that you got on a Coogi t-shirt (I mean really, who’s checkin for Coogi since The Cosby Show?) and Chuck Taylors (also circa early-nineties) lets me know that all that ‘bling’ you’re rockin is either rented or unreal. Or both. And the Soulja Boy cereal-box sunglasses don’t even look good on Soulja Boy. At least we know who he is.

I tried not to hate today, really. But I just couldn’t pass this one up. I mean, when you dress up just like a mix between the Little Mermaid and the birthday cake at your party, you’re just asking for it. Meagan Good tries so hard but between the permanent snarling upper lip and fashion that never quite fits her look makes it hard to say something nice. Sorry Meagan. Happy birthday anyway.

Apparently being BFF’s with Kelis is having some negative effects. Sometimes it’s not a good idea to dig into your best friend’s closet because what looks bad on her just may look worse on you. Are high-waisted denim rolled cuff capris what’s hot for the Summer? I guess you thought so, huh Dania? And you thought those yellow Betty Boop style shoes would look good with a poufy grey silk blouse and white and wicker bag too? Boo for you.

Eww. Everytime I see Lil Kim, I think of Michael Jackson post-Thriller days, but pre-nose falling off. But Kim is on her way. The plastic surgeries, Botox injections, silicone and liposuction are starting to revolt and pretty soon we’re gonna see pieces of her body strewn across the stage. And that push-up bra and tank top are not gonna hold you up forever Kim. Unlike Michael Jackson, I see Kim no longer has enough money to afford performance outfits so I guess what’s good for the streets is good for the stage.

Christopher Hunt/Getty Images