The original pimp gangsta Ice-T and his stripper/hoe wife were spotted at some red carpet event for the Tribeca Film Festival and Coco was looking cheap and tacky as usual. Coco was trying to channel Mariah Carey with her little girl get-up. If it wasn’t for the Botox-ed face, between the two ponytails, that too small shirt dress that was meant for a teenage girl and that logo-covered XOXO bag (that by no means should be carried after you complete middle school), I would swear this was Mimi. And about that bag Coco, with all them dollar bills from sliding down the pole and the dough from meeting some Johns in dirty motels, you or your pimp couldn’t spring for no Louis Vuitton?

Apparently you can turn a hoe into a housewife. Ice T proved that by marrying his stripper chick “model chick” Coco. The couple turned up on the Tyson movie premiere red carpet in full pimps-up, hoes-down mode. Ice T looked like an old pimp with his usual leather jacket, jeans and cap and Coco looked every bit the $2 hooker in spandex and all sorts of wild animal print accessories that she jacked some poor furry animals for. Are the cheetah and leopard print shoes, bag belt and hat really necessary Coco? (And by the way sweetie, we know you stole the hat from your husband’s pimp collection.) Anyway, it’s bad enough you jacked the plastic industry to stuff your body with, now must the animals suffer for your skankaliciousness too?

Jaslene Gonzalez is really smokin some other ish. Being supermodel skinny is one thing; sportin’ a permanent crackhead figure is another. And rockin’ this get up is only something a true crackhead would do. Not only is she smoking, she’s also fashion challenged and colorblind! She jacked some poor animal for that too-big red fur jacket, jacked M.C. Hammer for his pants, and Chris Brown for his wifebeater. (Let me stop). And that blue belt is barely holding up those pants. Girl, go get something to eat! I know Day 26’s album release party aint really that special but damn, you couldn’t have come better than this?

I’m not even gonna talk about the ghetto club photo op background with the weed leaf, bottle of Hypnotiq and fake Hummer. No, I’m not gonna talk about it because the bigger issue at hand is the crocheted patriotic mess that is Khia’s outfit. I know she got a lot of free time since her rap career hasn’t quite taken off (that’s being nice) but did she really have the time to CROCHET this red white and blue ‘outfit’? Who wears crocheted clothes, besides babies and old women? And is it hood to rock crochet at the club? I do have to give her props for coordinating the American flag booties though, nice touch.