Jaslene Gonzalez is really smokin some other ish. Being supermodel skinny is one thing; sportin’ a permanent crackhead figure is another. And rockin’ this get up is only something a true crackhead would do. Not only is she smoking, she’s also fashion challenged and colorblind! She jacked some poor animal for that too-big red fur jacket, jacked M.C. Hammer for his pants, and Chris Brown for his wifebeater. (Let me stop). And that blue belt is barely holding up those pants. Girl, go get something to eat! I know Day 26’s album release party aint really that special but damn, you couldn’t have come better than this?

Oh Paula. You are such a mess mentally and physically. The Elvira chandelier neckline played out with, well, Elvira. And the Chiquita Banana dress is meant only for a cartoon woman with a basket of fruit on her head. But since you technically are a basketcase I guess that’s close enough. All that’s missing is the fruit.

Btw, are you hiding a bottle of vodka under that ruffle?

Amy Crackhouse only gets coverage on this site cause she’s black by association - she sings like a black girl (Lauryn Hill) and obviously has a black goddaughter. I’m going to ignore the obvious question (who the hell would name her godmother and leave her alone with their child???) and focus on the fashion, which is what we do here on CelebUgly. Oh my. Amy’s channeling her inner Jamaican and is wearing out what should never be worn, except maybe on a beach in Jamaica; a mesh, fishnet shirt and pirate-style denim capris. Those ballet slippers certainly have seen better days (then again, maybe not). And her weave is starting to dread up. I didn’t even know Yaki could do that! She must have bought the cheap stuff. Oh Amy. It’s bad enough you’re into sporting crackhead couture, don’t drag someone else’s kid down with you.

Check out more cracked out Amy Winehouse here.