WTF Jaslene? What is this hot ass multicolored tranny mess you’re wearing? Looks like chick had a battle with a box of crayons. And lost. Jaslene, like all the other Top Model rejects (I don’t care that she won, what is she doing now???) need to go to some sort of Top Model reject Charm School to learn how to dress with some class. Tyra used to tell her on the show to stop wearing all this extra crap so now that the show’s over, I guess she just said screw everything Tyra told her. But the prison stripes, red belt, split up to ‘there’ blue skirt and yellow stripper shoes are just not the business.

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I know Wendy Williams always talks about her brother and sister on the radio but I didn’t know they were one and the same….Oh wait, this is Traci Bingham? The love child of Wendy and RuPaul was spotted on some red carpet (who keeps inviting her?) looking a hot tranny muppet mess. The bird’s nest weave, the super siliconed fake boobs, the fabric swatch she calls a dress and the stretchy metallic and aqua-colored furry Cookie Monster boots are just too much. From Baywatch to the Surreal Life to Cookie Monster’s stunt double - what will she do next? And I can’t believe this chick used to video ho (yeah it’s a verb) for Jay-Z and Jermaine Dupri. When video chicks like Melyssa Ford dress classier than you, it’s just a damn shame.

Usually when you start seeing these reality chicks all over magazines and stuff, it means they won whatever show they were on but I don’t think that’s the case here. I think Hoopz didn’t win the $250 grand on I Love Money so she had to resort to the aspiring-video-girl/washed up reality chick’s starter job, posing for King Magazine. I’m not trying to hate on anybody’s hustle but is the tranny stripper makeup and Wilma Flintstone necklace the best she could do? You’re a washed up celeb Hoopz! I know you aint New york or nothin but you have been on two shows already - you couldn’t get VH1 to spring for your own make up artist and hairstylist? I do give King Mag credit for the ‘bustin out of Saran wrap’ theme - that’s hot yo.

Wow, I thought Real’s (from I Love NY) luscious Cowardly lion locks were to die for but then I saw this pic of Lloyd and changed my mind. I love that Lloyd is (a) not afraid to rock the preferred picture day hairstyle of most third grade girls (ladies, you know you have a picture of you with the side twist/braid and one in the back - that was the ish back in the day!), and (b) not afraid to pose with a drag queen model who looks more masculine than you. That takes cojones!

And let’s not leave Jade out. I mean, she is the undiscovered supermodel. I see she got a new wig (must be a trend among Top Model rejects these days) and a sequinned minidress so now you really can’t tell her nothin! As if we could before. Boy Girl, you fierce!

Why is it that all the Top Model winners either fade into obscurity (except for Eva Pigford) or suddenly lose the style tips that TyTy gave them on the show? I specifically remember Tyra telling Jaslene to tone it down, lest she look too tranny and sure enough, she looks tranny. I hope she didn’t show up on the Fashionista Show trying to give advice on how to bring out your inner drag queen. Nevermind this dress is hurting my eyes with the checkerboard pattern and what’s with the fiesta ribbons on each shoulder? Is this what you buy with $100 grand?