When it comes to ugly celebrity fashion, Jacki O never lets me down. I mean, since Foxy Brown and Khia have both gone low profile, I need some other tacky rap chick to talk about. And Jacki O is that girl. She recently performed somewhere (who are the ‘fans’ that paid for this?) and she “dazzled” the crowd (and I say that while snickering) in her Ice Capades concert get up. Basically it was just a catsuit that she probably studded at home with her Bedazzler. That huge star on her hip is killing me but it’s all about personal creativity so who am I to judge?

Ciara’s the latest celebrity to fall victim to the harem pants. Ladies (and MC Hammer), this look is not the business. These type of pants were only meant for Aladdin, I Dream of Jeannie, and snake charmers. And speaking of snakes, CiCi, what is that around your neck? It looks like you captured a bright red anaconda, snatched off the skin and swung it around your neck. Maybe you missed the memo, but this event was called “Operation Smile“, not “Operation-Laugh-at-my-Ridiculous-Outfit”.

I think Janice Combs missed the memo that this was the premiere for Beyonce’s Obsessed movie, and not the black remake of I Dream of Jeannie. Miss Janice looks like she just popped out of Diddy’s bottle and onto the magic carpet. The gold jacket, belt, shoes and earrings that match her wig, the blue tunic top and harem pants - I just can’t. Nothing about this look says “My son got money”. And they have got too much money and access for her to still be dressing a hot ass mess. I know Diddy won’t spring for stylists for any of his groups that he exploits features on Making the Band, but damn, you can at least throw your own momma a bone.

The original pimp gangsta Ice-T and his stripper/hoe wife were spotted at some red carpet event for the Tribeca Film Festival and Coco was looking cheap and tacky as usual. Coco was trying to channel Mariah Carey with her little girl get-up. If it wasn’t for the Botox-ed face, between the two ponytails, that too small shirt dress that was meant for a teenage girl and that logo-covered XOXO bag (that by no means should be carried after you complete middle school), I would swear this was Mimi. And about that bag Coco, with all them dollar bills from sliding down the pole and the dough from meeting some Johns in dirty motels, you or your pimp couldn’t spring for no Louis Vuitton?

Apparently you can turn a hoe into a housewife. Ice T proved that by marrying his stripper chick “model chick” Coco. The couple turned up on the Tyson movie premiere red carpet in full pimps-up, hoes-down mode. Ice T looked like an old pimp with his usual leather jacket, jeans and cap and Coco looked every bit the $2 hooker in spandex and all sorts of wild animal print accessories that she jacked some poor furry animals for. Are the cheetah and leopard print shoes, bag belt and hat really necessary Coco? (And by the way sweetie, we know you stole the hat from your husband’s pimp collection.) Anyway, it’s bad enough you jacked the plastic industry to stuff your body with, now must the animals suffer for your skankaliciousness too?

I didn’t know hood chicks still used Kool Aid to dye their hair. I thought that ish played out back in the 90’s! But leave it to Cheri Dennis to bring back the throwback style. The Bad Boy artist showed up on the red carpet for labelmate’s Day 26 album release party. And chick showed off her fresh fruit punch-flavored dome with a black strapless prom dress, also from the 90’s, and extra tatted up body. Are girl tatts the new accessory? And are those wedge-heeled slingback sneakers that I see? Girl, you settin’ trends left and right. Too bad all these trends played out years ago. But to be fair, they did last a lot longer than your singing career.

WTF Jaslene? What is this hot ass multicolored tranny mess you’re wearing? Looks like chick had a battle with a box of crayons. And lost. Jaslene, like all the other Top Model rejects (I don’t care that she won, what is she doing now???) need to go to some sort of Top Model reject Charm School to learn how to dress with some class. Tyra used to tell her on the show to stop wearing all this extra crap so now that the show’s over, I guess she just said screw everything Tyra told her. But the prison stripes, red belt, split up to ‘there’ blue skirt and yellow stripper shoes are just not the business.

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Dwight Eubanks, the “breakout star” (snickers) of The Real Housewives of Atlanta has been doing all sorts of D-list appearances since the show. Most recently he hosted the 2009 Fashion & Style Honors awards. Now I don’t know what counts for fashionable and stylish in the ATL, but I’m guessing it’s not this here. Homeboy (or homegirl, depending on the day) and his no-pack chicken chest was spotted in a turtleneck-turned belly top which I haven’t seen since Blaine and Antoine on In Living Color, with some wrinkled-ass wide leg leather pants which some poor cow died in vain for. I’m not sure what’s going on with the string he made into a belt but I guess that’s just some creative ish I’m not up on yet. This whole picture has an overall aura of tangyness. At any moment I expect him to do three snaps in G formation. One guess what the G stands for…

Photo via Freddy O

Damn Rachel Roy. I’m sorry to hear you’re getting divorced from Damon Dash but that’s usually the time you start dressing like a slut sexy young woman and letting all the single industry men know you’re back on the market. I don’t think you’re gonna find your next sugar daddy husband dressing like a corporate employee from back in the day. And I didn’t know they even still made skirts that long! You’re a fashion designer and your stuff is edgy and couture so what is up with this outfit??? You look like a sad gray sack, even more so with that drab grandma blazer. Even aside from the man repellant that is this outfit, you’re at an industry event - and the only thing dressed up are your feet! Next time try a cocktail dress - it might work better with those shoes.

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Damn. It’s hard to just focus on the fact that Venus Williams just won a gold medal with sister Serena when I’m so distracted by the way she looks right here. I’m all for comfortable and casual but she couldn’t slap on a scarf or wig or something? And I know you’re proud to rep the USA but even one of those velvet Juicy tracksuits would have looked better than this. And a couple of blotting sheets and powder would have done wonders for that sweaty, greasy face V. Damn if she don’t look just like her father Richard: face, hair, clothes and all.

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